There was a small Roman settlement or “vicus” here, hence the modern name. Also interesting is that there is no evidence of a doorway into the tower at ground level. A doorway eight feet above ground level on the south side is seen by some as evidence of a defensive structure. You get the idea: you all go up the ladder and nobody can reach you - as long as you pull the ladder up after you! I am always sceptical about the many claims that towers had defensive uses, although you can see some definite examples in northern Cumbria where Scots insurgents and border reivers were a constant threat - see my “Saunter by the Solway”. Some go as far as to say that the tower was a standalone tower with a warning beacon.
There are big snags with this idea, however. For a start, the upper chamber’s internal area is only abut one hundred square feet so although it might have served as a watchtower it would not have been much use as a village shelter. How long would attackers have to wait before the crowded space was intolerable and the people were starved and parched? The biggest snag, however, is MH Bloxham’s assertion that there was an Anglo-Saxon tower arch and he described it in some detail. Not only does that invalidate the tower’s suggested standalone status but also suggests attackers could get into the base of the tower through the tower arch and set fire to the ceiling! As Taylor & Taylor put it in their seminal and definitive work on Anglo-Saxon Architecture “It seems a mistake to think of church towers as places of refuge from Viking marauders, particularly as so many have wooden floors at a low level that give little safety against fire”. One also has to ask why the small settlement of Wickham felt the particular need for such a structure and who they were worried about? True, Anglo-Saxon towers usually had a ground level doorway on the south side and there is none here but to quote Taylor & Taylor again: “It may cause surprise to suggest that stairs for access to a tower might have stood in the church itself”. They go on to suggest plausibly that restricted access to upper floors of towers might well have been to prevent thefts of relics and liturgical valuables. Thoughts of defensive towers always excite the modern mind but rarely, I am afraid, stand up to objective examination and I do not think they do so here
I still haven’t quite explained why this church is “bonkers”. Well, firstly the aisle roof has elephants supporting it. No, not real ones, Silly! Papier mache ones. This is another example of the eccentricities of some members of the English clergy. The story goes that the Rev William Nicholson fancied a few angels to support the aisle roof in his nice new church. Somehow it seems he persuaded his congregation that the best place to find them was at the Paris Exhibition of 1862. One can only hope that the churchwardens had the nous to say “At you own expense then, mate”. Anyway when the Rev Bill got there he fell in love with three papier mache elephants; so much so that he ordered another five to be made. These are distinctly Indian elephants with curly tusks and ears characteristic of the subcontinent sub-species. They have nice little tasselled cloths around their necks and heads. They are very fetching and, as I said, totally bonkers. Much more fun than flippin’ angels, though, that’s for sure! Although the church has quite a few of those boring celestial bodies as well.
Is that all, Lionel? Well, not quite. You see, what nobody else seems to have commented on is that this very compact church has three organs. Or if they are not organs, I wish someone would put me right. Now I am a keen, if somewhat mediocre, amateur musician and I know all about the perpetual urge to buy yet another, upgraded instrument. I have more guitars, banjos, mandolins and whatnot than anyone should have to hoover around. But, really, three organs - big organs - in one church? Oh, and a harmonium. Now that’s hubris. And, to my great hilarity, when I visited in 2017 I saw a notice on the church door that they were applying to the Consistory Court to install in the aisle - an electronic organ! You couldn’t make it up! Do they want one organ per member of the congregation?
It’s rare for me to write about a Victorian church, but this one is a hoot as well as being rather fine. And sometimes I get a bit fed up with writing about one glorious mediaeval church after another. So this is a bit of light relief for myself and my readers. And if you are in the area, please don’t pass it up. It’s seriously entertaining. Is that last sentence an oxymoron? Discuss.
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